Impatience in therapy - Liliana V. Funes

When We Want to Heal Too Quickly

Introduction

In a quickly moving world, it is no surprise that we often come to therapy expecting quick solutions. The promise of “change in just a few sessions” or “instant relief” can be very tempting, especially when the emotional pain is deep. But this expectation can become a trap.
This article explores how impatience can interfere with the therapeutic process and open the door to misleading, unreliable solutions.

What Is Impatience in Therapy?

Impatience arises when we feel that therapy “should be working by now,” that change is happening too slowly, or that “nothing is progressing.” It is a typical emotional response when suffering, and it is powerfully shaped by a cultural mindset that prioritizes immediate results over the process of achieving them.

Why Does Impatience Arise?

There are several reasons why impatience may show up in therapy:

Unrealistic expectations: We may believe that just a few sessions will “fix” issues that have taken years to develop.
Emotional and social pressure: We live in a culture that treats “feeling good” as a constant obligation (Illouz, 2008).
Urgency driven by distress: The more intense the suffering, the more desperate we become for a solution.
Consumer mindset: Even emotional well-being has become a marketable product.

From Hurry to Anxiety: The Trap of the Immediate

Impatience can lead to anxiety, which often drives impulsive decisions: dropping out of therapy, switching therapists frequently, or falling for promises of magical solutions.
This creates fertile ground for pseudoscience, that is, approaches lacking theoretical or scientific validation, such as “energy healing” techniques with no clinical basis, “emotional reprogramming” without empirical support, or coaching that claims to heal without professional training (Lilienfeld et al., 2015).

This isn’t just an ethical or professional issue but also a clinical one. These paths often result in further frustration, reinforcing the belief that “nothing works” and deepening emotional distress.

Consequences of Impatience.

Some of the most common consequences include:

Prematurely abandoning therapeutic processes that require time.
Becoming more vulnerable to harmful or unregulated interventions.
Developing long-term distrust toward legitimate psychological treatments.

How to Work with Impatience in Therapy.

Impatience itself can be an excellent topic to work on in therapy.

Addressing it can include, for example, understanding therapy as a process with its timeframe, asking ourselves what anxiety we are trying to silence by rushing, and learning to distinguish what is professionally and clinically validated from what is not.

As Judith Beck (2021) reminds us, part of the therapist’s role is to help clients tolerate the discomfort of the process without despairing over its pace.

Conclusion.

Therapy is not an assembly line. It takes time, relationships, and a willingness to face uncertainty, qualities that often conflict with the logic of today’s fast-paced world.
Rather than offering shortcuts, clinical psychology offers depth, support, and sustained effort. Impatience is human, but it can also be a gateway to discovering how we relate to time, change, and our desire to feel well.